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This poignant, personal book guides readers through the ins and outs of midlife dating after losing one’s soulmate. The book opens with an openly honest foreword about how Meehan met her husband, his cancer diagnosis, and the brave steps the author took to begin finding love again after the tragic loss of her spouse. As readers progress from chapter to chapter, they discover stories of intimidated men who scorn a woman who orders her own coffee, the strangeness of navigating dating apps, and the taboos that are broken when men decide a photo of themselves in a speedo is the best introduction.
Lacing the stories together, nonetheless, are astute observations of human behavior, as well as some humor rarely found in similar works written after the death of one's life partner. What the book emphasizes, too, is that for those who begin dating again during their fifties, the small details matter. One of the best examples of this is “Pickleball Champ,” the slyly humorous and honest tale of the author’s encounter with a retiree who plays pickleball daily. Despite the retiree’s education, he occupied a “basement apartment in Newport Beach,” and, according to the author, the retiree looked “old.” Working in the retiree’s favor, however, was the fact that he “was punctual and wore appropriate footwear.” The attention to small details like these reveals that the author had a specific goal and was determined to reach it.
In other stories, the author reveals how technology—specifically dating apps—has allowed men who desire a “side hustle” to their marriages to form a sort of no-questions-asked playground. In “Who Needs to Be Divorced,” the author agrees to meet a man at one of their favorite trailheads. The man arrives in a Tesla, which the author humorously notes is a “common theme” for many of the men she dates. At the hike’s conclusion, the author asks the man his full name, which he gives, and during a post-hike Googling session, the author discovers that the man is married “with not even a divorce filing” in process. Thus, the story harbors a stark warning about conducting one’s research prior to a date.
Hiking and nature form the backdrop to a number of the stories in this book. The presence of these two important entities in the author’s life is significant. Because of their inclusion, the book develops a return-to-nature theme that emphasizes how being in nature, as well as the physicality of hiking, can be important steps in one’s healing and grieving process. Their inclusion, too, is another way for the author to emphasize that the small details matter in midlife dating. Obviously, nature and hiking are paramount to the author’s identity, and finding a compatible partner who enjoys them is a must since these would form some “common ground” for both individuals.
Boldly humorous and wildly brave, this book will appeal to anyone who has navigated the dating scene after the death of a spouse or a divorce. At the book’s end, the author provides a conclusion in which anyone seeking love in the modern world can take solace: “It will be organic and random and amazing. I’ve stopped looking. It will happen when it happens.”