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Perfectionism often can and is a detriment to progress, yet countless human beings strive for it only to fall short and find themselves in a vicious and unfulfilling cycle. Savage’s guide acknowledges the exhausting nature of self-evaluation and introspection and how it is much easier to just deflect one’s predicament onto circumstances or anyone else but oneself. In this narrative, readers will find a roadmap rooted in psychology and practicality that is primed to spearhead change.
Early on in the work, Savage demonstrates his knowledge of psychology as it pertains to human behavior through Prochaska’s model of change, progressing from various stages beginning with precontemplation and ending with action. On a microscopic level, the author examines one’s energy levels, internal and external stressors, and even sleep health to generate a holistic assessment of one’s well-being. Thus, the process of change, the author suggests, must be enacted through attainable goals, both in short and longer-term windows.
The overarching schematic of Savage’s work focuses on the evolution of negativity, whether that’s through self-talk, posture, mannerisms, etc., to one of distinct positivity. To facilitate this process seamlessly, he brings in the “Stove Top” method that allows readers to easily digest their daily priorities and not feel overburdened with all the things they may have going on in life. Here, the diagram makes it easy to process the author’s viewpoint. Interestingly, in pursuit of embracing our imperfections, Savage dwells on the best ways to channel emotions, no matter how traumatic a situation they may have stemmed from. A particularly engaging example he draws upon from the book of leading trauma researcher Bessel Van Der Kolk is that of a five-year-old boy who is asked to draw what he has witnessed: a harrowing event depicting people jumping from a burning building. The black dot that he places to represent the trampoline provides clear support for thinking out of the box and creatively to stem the pain within.
Overall, the narrative intends to give readers the platform to get out of their own way and refrain from ultimatums and extremes while embracing daily development. Feelings of guilt can play an incredibly destructive role. In fact, the author works through various types of guilt, from traditional and manipulative guilt to survivor’s guilt and devotional guilt. What makes this book especially interesting is that Savage injects the work with a dose of intrigue and entertainment by integrating psychology and self-help guidance with experiences about his own family, all while coining unique terminology and techniques like “airplane technique,” “Fish on,” and “guilt baths.” Digging deeper, the blueprint to bringing out one’s best self is contingent on understanding the blame pie. In other words, Savage emphasizes that blame is never entirely a one-way road. It is rarely just one person’s fault. Instead, it is usually a contributing effort of people, circumstances, etc., that leads to the undesired result.
Throughout the book, Savage incorporates diagrams and illustrations, charts, and even outlines to ensure that his messages come through loud and clear, irrespective of one’s learning style or prior background in the psychology or self-help field. Rather than coming from a pulpit as many books of the genre do, Savage’s work gives readers the comfort that he is right there and can relate. By taking generally dry and dense content and giving it an entertaining, narrative-based spin, Savage effectively reaches all the masses, especially today’s youth, and delivers both an enjoyable and insightful experience.
RECOMMENDED by the US Review