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Of King Arthur's knights of the round table, Sir Lancelot is perhaps the most famous. He is the most handsome and bravest and King Arthur's favorite. But Lancelot has an obscure younger brother, Ellsworth. Ellsworth, however, has had a terrible habit since he was a baby: he burps loudly and often. As an infant, he shatters every nearby windowpane in King Arthur's Camelot castle with the first of these burps. That feat earns him a nickname for life: Burpsalot. He has none of Lancelot's good looks or bravery, but his unassuming intelligence is just what the beleaguered kingdom needs. When a wicked dragon devours every sheep it sees, keeping potential rescuers at bay with its fiery breath, Burpsalot is Arthur's last hope. But will his solution satisfy everyone?
Meanwhile, another sibling emerges from Lancelot's shadow. Even younger than Burpsalot, his sister Wendy resents the limitations that forbid medieval girls to learn archery. She does not want to acquire such acceptable womanly skills as mending and cooking. Flouting convention and using a discarded bow, she secretly teaches herself archery. Her prowess soon earns her the privilege of firing nonlethal screaming arrows whose screams confuse enemy armies. But a race of smelly invaders, the Stinkers, fight deafening noise with a nauseating stench that threatens to decimate the residents of the neighboring kingdom. Playing the unlikely hero is nothing new to Burpsalot. With the help of George, the reformed dragon, he once more proves his mettle. Now, astride Lucy the unicorn, Wendy, too, can honor her family name.
In memory of his sister-in-law, Greenwood wrote this droll adaptation of Arthurian legend for her grandchildren. This is his first book. He parodies most major characters and excludes others completely. Guinevere, for example, is absent. Arthur begins as a scrawny child nicknamed Artie. Merlin's owl is named Growl and offers advice when asked. But more often, he staunchly protects the wizard's privacy by defecating on (and thus deterring) would-be visitors and counsel seekers. And the destructive dragon Burpsalot first conquered is now named George, probably a humorous nod to the legend of St. George, the dragon slayer.
Both male and female characters successfully defeat their enemies by bloodless means. Though Burpsalot's propensity for belching displeases Arthur at first, the knight can control it. He restrains a large burp until he is in the very presence of the dragon he must confront. Burpsalot's powerful belch unconventionally relieves the indigestion the dragon suffers after eating too many sheep. Furthermore, this permanently extinguishes his fire.
Likewise, the screaming arrows Wendy shoots are meant to frighten and distract foes, not kill them. Her simple presence as a creature entirely strange to him—a female and a person without armor—stops Growl from showering her with droppings in his customary fashion when they first meet. This style of nonviolent warfare appeals also to their enemies. Implied flatulence is the Stinkers' weapon of choice. They can close their nostrils against their unpleasant smell.
This very funny book is intended for kids ages five to twelve years. As does Peter Nuttall's King Arthur and the Knights of the Pantomime Table: A Traditional Pantomime, this story successfully pokes fun at venerated legendary heroes. Adults with scatological senses of humor will also like Greenwood's tale, particularly if they favor teaching nonviolent conflict resolution.