Young Ronnie’s home life is chaotic growing up in the projects in Brooklyn. As the child of Puerto Rican immigrants, he and his large family get by together, though not living the dream life they’d necessarily hoped for. By the age of six, Ronnie has to deal with the loss of his father to chronic illness, the deteriorating mental health of his mother—who begins to speak to people nobody else can see, and the tyranny of a drug-fueled, traumatized Vietnam War vet of an older brother who returns home to be the family’s patron. Traveling in and out of family homes to avoid child services, the abuse from his older sibling reaches a point where it can no longer be ignored. Subsequently, Ronnie and his brother Tommy are moved into the care of a nearby orphanage.

On weekends, the brothers can usually return home and spend time with their mother and a sibling or two, but the desire to belong to a normal circle of friends and family and act like a normal child leads Ronnie into troublesome territory. Under the stewardship of Charlie, a man who works with local kids with the Boy Scouts and other youth sports leagues, Ronnie finds what he thinks is someone who will care for him and give him the things he is missing in life. Instead, Charlie begins sexually abusing Ronnie and gets him involved in child prostitution, under threat of everyone finding out about his double life and his mother potentially being committed to a mental institution permanently. His innocence stripped away, Ronnie has to navigate the life of a hustler in the 1970s, looking for stability in a world where he is treated as little more than a commodity to be used.

The author tells his story from two different points of view, alternating between them as needed. Both belong to him, but sometimes he switches from a past-tense retrospective to a first-person account as it’s happening—sometimes as Ronnie, other times as “Angel,” the name that he uses for work. Though the story eventually reaches a conclusion of triumph and healing, the author’s story is one that is naturally challenging, each chapter detailing horrendous abuse, criminal activity, and trauma in its many shapes and sizes. Still, the storytelling in this book is superb, with the author’s memories and evocative descriptions bringing New York City of the 1970s to life in a way that engages the reader even when the subject matter might want them to pull away.

Vintage photographs are also included of some of the primary locations and characters, particularly in the first half of the book. This visual interlude serves to split the story’s two halves. It is at about the halfway point when an unlikely savior appears in Ronnie’s life, and although his struggles are far from ending at this point, there is at least a marked difference from the continuous turbulence and trauma that the author self-describes as a “landslide.” This memoir looks back on difficult times without rose-colored glasses, challenging the reader to accept that there were and are elements to our lives that are often swept under the rug by others. Though the material can be shocking or upsetting, ultimately, the author’s story is one that needs to be told, and the frank nature of this book makes it something that stays with the reader, leaving a strong impression.

RECOMMENDED by the US Review

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