Dying to Live: Finding Life's Meaning Through Death
by Andy Chaleff
Meaningful Relations


"I'm scared of death, and that's okay."

Whether we like it or not, everyone has a pending relationship with death. Author Chaleff examines the fears and reactions that he's had throughout his lifetime to this profound experience in his third self-help volume. The thirty-three concise chapters cover every imaginable angle of (as the title and subtitle clearly state) how to manage the relationship with discovering clear meaning in one's life while facing the inevitability of human impermanence and, ultimately, to accept the absolute impermanence of all phenomena. Chaleff writes, "Shifting from the world of pain and confusion to gratitude has been my way of turning the world upside down and having it make even more sense."

The author provides concrete steps that gradually lead to acceptance of what is an uncomfortable topic for many. Each chapter ends with "meditative questions" that focus on and fine-tune one's reflections about each chapter's topic. The many steps discussed in the chapters include simple yet effective processes, such as witnessing emotions without judgment, facing and embracing the uncomfortable fears that one typically avoids, and other practices that help one confront the unsettling thought of facing mortality. "By facing and accepting these fears, we enrich our lives, adding a depth that comes from truly understanding our impermanence," Chaleff muses.

This small but important book underlines the importance of mindfulness in the process of understanding life and mortality—the ability to observe thoughts and emotions without "attachment or aversion," as Buddhist tradition describes this process. The narrative writing is friendly and comforting, providing readers with the ambiance of conversing with a wise and trusted friend. Chaleff effectively extracts the fear and drama surrounding death and reduces it to a manageable and natural process that all must inevitably face.

RECOMMENDED by the US Review

Return to USR Home