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Labels can be haunting, and few are as crushing as the "crazy" label. In Kudla's thought-provoking memoir, audiences peer into mental illness in its rawest form. Contrary to what many cultures chalk up to "taboo" and "weakness in character," mental health is as real as ever, and the author does an exemplary job of conveying how one's thoughts mount an attack and create a new identity that revolves around defensiveness and vulnerability.
Kudla's scholastic achievements in high school are stellar, and ever the wordsmith, the written word becomes his outlet. Nevertheless, sorrow continues to cave in, first subtly, then with a relentless grip that gives rise to voices and the delusion that leads to Kudla finding himself naked in the streets, insistent that he was a figure named Xavier, a soul lost in Eden. Conjure the isolation one must feel that endures conditions like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. Not only is brain functioning inconceivably altered, but the trickle effect permeates all areas of life, particularly one's sleep health, as the author articulates with precision.
On a deeper level, the isolation manifests into shame and an intense fear of judgment, zapping mental health victims of their life force in a way that renders them at life's mercy. In Kudla's case, his tenacity and persistence are on full display as he builds and, in some moments, rebuilds his life to find love, to integrate himself into his school community at IU Bloomington, and most of all, to pen his poetry that provided a platform to ruminate over his thoughts. Overall, Kudla's memoir is an authentic portrayal of the ups and downs of his journey with mental health. The book radiates a rare mindset that values triumphs rather than being consumed by the shortcomings and demonization of a disease over which one has no control.
RECOMMENDED by the US Review
A 2025 Eric Hoffer Book Award Category Finalist