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On an intrinsic, instinctual level, we all crave a sense of love and belonging and look for partners and companions who can offer us appreciation, care, and security. Changing attitudes towards gender and sexuality have opened doors for many to find that level of support both on a community scale and from an intimate partner, but at the same time, a shift toward hook-up culture and dating apps tends to move people away from deeper commitments. Reflecting on his life as a young gay male, especially one who has dated older partners, the author offers unflinching advice and observations on setting boundaries and commanding equal respect and autonomy in a relationship. Various red flags and warning signs will be presented to readers so they can avoid abuse and those who care more about themselves and their own needs.
Based on the author's personal experience and dissatisfaction, these essays read more like observations and wisdom than a personal list of grievances. Patel notes that readers will likely identify with some but not all of the topics presented, but also urges consideration for the unfamiliar, even if they feel they engage in some of the behaviors examined. This blend of perspectives allows the author to speak with authority and confidence while proposing ways in which others can find fulfillment and actualization, regardless of what their own desires or goals may look like. Consequently, the outreach and potential audience for these thoughts extends far beyond the author’s own identity or circles, and people in all kinds of situations stand to learn valuable truths about themselves and those they seek validation and love from after reading through this book.