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This searing portrait of a marriage tells the story of a woman forever changed by traumatic experiences in the clutches of her narcissistic husband. Gantt's brave memoir begins with her childhood experiences with an abusive mother and her first marriage, which turns abusive. Gantt works hard to create a new, independent life for herself, working at a bank and raising her children. When she meets Phil, she never sees the warning signs that might have prevented her from beginning a thirty-nine-year marriage that will end in a bitter divorce, immense heartache, and terrible betrayal. Gantt narrates her memories with anger, sadness, and confusion as she struggles to understand her husband's cruelty. The actions of her stepchildren also weigh heavily on her as she recollects their horrible treatment and disrespect toward her for most of the marriage.
Gantt movingly captures the contrast between the appearance of her life with Phil and the reality. They live a lavish life with vacations and jewelry, dinner parties, and beautiful homes. Phil seems to appreciate her ability to navigate the social circles they move in, including the military functions they attend. But in truth, he finds every opportunity to belittle, bully, and humiliate her. Often he and his children work as a team to undermine her and even steal from her. Each incident that Gantt relays adds more fuel to her anger and shock, and Gantt never flinches from the truth of her situation as she illuminates even the darkest corners of her marriage. She tries desperately to make sense of Phil's treatment of her, and with the support of friends and therapy, she begins to understand and move beyond into a place of peace when her divorce is finalized.
Plainspoken and honest, Gantt's voice moves from shock and outrage to confusion and frustration and finally to acceptance and self-love. She gives detailed accounts and anecdotes that help tell the story of her early life and her difficult marriage. There is power in looking back at one's life and sharing the mistakes and the regrets even as you embrace what remains. Her gripping story can be read as a cautionary tale or as an inspiration for surviving and thriving in the aftermath of an abusive relationship. This memoir can also be read to understand and empathize with people trapped in relationships they never envisioned. Standing for a while in Gantt's shoes is to feel the pain of a woman tormented by a man she cared for and loved for almost four decades.
True stories, at their core, are pathfinders and waymakers for others. When people like Gantt look back on their lives and unspool their memories, we all can pick up the thread and stitch better lives for ourselves. This truth-telling is a way to break the silence that threatens to keep people trapped in vicious cycles of powerlessness. Breaking the silence breaks the stigma and releases the storyteller and the reader. Gantt's remarkable story is a testament to never giving up on finding a place of peace.