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While in veterinary college, a disadvantaged man from Lancashire, England discovers the segregating effects of the British class system and takes refuge in alcohol. Cannabis and LSD soon follow as he steam shovels into the bowels of hell, dragging a diagnosis of schizophrenia with him. Unwilling to take his meds, Wall begins to communicate telepathically, gets "caught" in other peoples' auras, and deciphers secret messages from everyday numbers: "…the sky was spray-painted with equations." While in the midst of madness, Wall amazingly retains enough sanity to observe his fascinating journey down the rabbit hole and share well-written, chronological recollections of a life fraught with paranoia, astral projections, demon-sighting, and religious delusions (i.e. Jesus is his "clone brother.") Just as amazing, he becomes a skilled veterinarian and works in many practices, despite his brain being "completely melted."
Unfortunately, interludes of sanity are not sustainable. Hope smashes with dread time and again in exhausting fashion as Wall periodically scrabbles up from his hellhole into a sunny world of possibility, only to slide back down, pushed by drugs, booze, and insanity. In this sad and pitiful tale, Wall admits his inebriated lifestyle is more important than his career or son. Though Wall fails in life, this frightening memoir, despite the typos, gives two gifts to society. First, if you are trying to quit drugs or alcohol, you'll be scared sober. Second, if you have a mental illness, you'll never go off your meds. An honest, well-written and painful account of a ceaseless dive into hell, powered by drug addiction, alcoholism, and schizophrenia, this book is a powerful cautionary tale.