The author was an adopted child, which, along with a facial scar acquired at an early age, gave him a sense of inferiority. This gradually developed into a deep depressive disorder with which he still struggles. He wrote this book, he says, “on my knees,” seeking ways to get past the many obstacles he has faced.
As an adult, he gained employment and the relaxation of participating in local sports but longed to break free from a life of security and discover his true destiny. He found solace in spiritual self-examination. Having dabbled in numerology, Biblical study, pendulum energy, and Chinese astrology, he offers his understandings of those disciplines. He consulted with psychics who assured him he would accomplish greater things. That emboldened him to follow his own advice: “Face your fears.” Now, with a long-term partner, Donna, he feels ready to embrace his future.
Smith’s book, though enjoyable, is something of a hodge-podge and includes family photos, certificates, lengthy recordings of sessions with psychic advisors, smatterings of Australian history, and accounts of his erotic encounters with women he met through a dating service. In clear, unvarnished language he records his progress—supporting himself through the construction of a small apartment complex, working through many difficult emotional crises with Donna, and experimenting with various medications. With his book, Smith has attempted to create a rough chronology of his life events. He uses slang, injects humor in his reminiscences, and tries to inspire the reader to try all possible solutions to mental and physical problems. His story has a raw, emotive feeling that will appeal strongly to those who have suffered from the disorders the author seeks to overcome.