"As you redressed/There was a smirk on your face/And all I could do/Was lay there/Bleeding and exposed."
 |
Unanswered—Why Me? Why Anyone? by S.A. Macalister Trafford Publishing
book review by P. Hooper
Macalister is brutally raped and disfigured by a stranger one night at a party. The rapist threatens her with a knife and cuts a large X mark in her thigh, but the physical mark is not the only scar the author is left with. The emotional damage is something she struggles to overcome for years afterwards. This collection of poems details the rape and the following months she spends trying to process and live with the pain that the attack has caused. The poems honestly and thoughtfully detail the many, sometimes unexpected, repercussions of the attack.
Plagued with nightmares, Macalister turns to alcohol to dim the pain. Her attack also affects her relationships with others. She says, "It took me more than two months/For me to be able to stand anyone touching me/Without jumping half way across the room." Macalister's poignant poems describe the isolating effects of rape with vivid imagery. She also touches on issues like guilt and how people often blame the victim, rather than the rapist. Although Macalister discusses how she eventually picks up the pieces of her life, she writes in great detail about how very difficult that process has been. Speaking to other victims, Macalister encourages them to find help and to not blame themselves for their attacks.
The poems in this book are haunting in their simplicity. Macalister doesn't mince words, and her direct tone and honesty are hard to forget. Ultimately, the collection conveys a message of hope and healing, one that would be especially comforting to other rape victims.